The Paper Crane and the Drunk Pirate

"When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back!"
-- Cave Johnson (Late CEO of Aperture Science)

"Would you hire yourself"?

Has anyone been asked this question? What is the correct answer to it?

This is a question I have pondered many a days, and I have come to the answer "no, I would not hire myself".

I'm rude, I hate most things, I hate you in particular (for no reason), I am not very productive at best of times (I rather not do something than do it), I am not very smart (even if I fake being smart pretty well), and I have dought my own abilities.

Past things

When I was younger I tried my hands on drawing (a short lived dream about doing comics), but that only fucking my right hand up (writers hand).

My father always told me to become a politician, but if it weren't for my absolute disdain for almost all political parties's policies/programs, I almost considered it.

I was told to get a degree (decided on Computer Science), but that only led to a big student loan and no degree.

I was told to work in a restaurant, seemed fun, was in reality the worst fucking job ever.

I tried to do graft (working at a company that does fibre installations), got the boot.

Took a course in Java EE/Web Programming, I hated every minute of it. I just don't understand how anyone would like such a job.

I tried my hand at writing (done so for some time, and still do) but I know it is all a pile of shit; every character speaks with the same voice, the dramatic curve has gone out the window, the tempo is all wrong, the disposition is all wrong.

I feel done.

"FML" is probably the best description of my life.